Mentee-Mentor Relationship Styles - Ontario Mentoring Coalition

Mentors can make youth feel safe by:

Providing constructive criticism instead of blaming when a mentee makes a mistake
Using humour
Modifying their approach for the individual (appealing to their interests and learning styles)
Showing genuine caring
Keeping the mentee’s situation confidential
Building trust by being consistent

(Covenant House, Youth Arts Action Group, and YWCA Youth Consultations)

Developmental and Instrumental Relationship Styles

The two mentoring styles that are the most recommended for their effectiveness are the developmental and instrumental approaches.^{1, 2} Both styles are youth-focused and collaborative, and emphasize relationship building and goal setting. The difference between them is in how they prioritize the early or main focus of the mentoring relationship:

Developmental approaches: focus on relational activities first to foster and develop a relationship of trust, before potentially incorporating skill building activities and focus.
Instrumental approaches: focus on goal-directed and skill-building activities first, and then turn their attention to developing the interpersonal relationship.²

“Research suggests that the provision of structure in the relationship should not be at the expense of a primary focus on having fun and developing the relationship” (p. 42).²

Transformative Mentoring Style for Youth Considered ‘High-Risk’

When considering the needs of youth deemed higher-risk, there is another classification of mentoring relationship types that is useful and very important to consider. It differentiates between assistance mentoring and transformative mentoring – see the table below for more details on each approach. Research shows that for youth facing multiple barriers, transformative mentoring is more likely to be effective.³

When mentoring youth who are considered at high-risk or at very high-risk of negative life outcomes, programs should strongly consider adopting a transformative mentoring approach.³

In transformative mentoring, mentors are:

extremely caring and committed;
willing to go above and beyond casual involvement in a young person’s life;
very patient and willing to play a variety of roles (guide, support, resource, advocate, challenger, etc.);
willing to meet the young person “where they’re at”, both in terms of physical location and mental state;
culturally and gender competent and aware of current youth issues;
thoughtful and reflective about their attitudes, activities and techniques;
skilled in assisting with relevant goals/objectives areas;
very respectful of other people’s challenges and ways of life; and
willing to remain a support and an advocate for the youth even when they continue to make mistakes.³

Type of Mentoring	Mentoring Efforts & Activities	Youth Profiles	Mentoring Classification	Needed Mentor Characteristics	Mentor Program Considerations
ASSISTANCE MENTORING
Low Intensity	Companionship Academic tutoring Education guidance Career/ professional guidance	Well-guided, but could benefit from additional companionship and/or assistance Very impressionable and eager for assistance	Assistance Mentoring: to assist youth who have no attitudinal and behavioural issues that would inhibit or be an obstacle to receiving basic assistance.	Caring and committed Recognizes the value of companionship and guidance to a young person Little patience, but must commit time Thought must be given to appropriate attitudes, activities and techniques	Coordinator: Strong program development & management skills Strong people skills Knowledgeable in youth development Program capacity: Adequate resources Matching: Same culture and gender matching can be considered but not necessary Mentors must have skills to assist in particular goal areas
Moderate Intensity	Companionship Academic tutoring Education guidance Career/professional guidance Self-esteem building Perspective broadening	Well-guided, but could benefit from additional companionship and/or assistance May or may not have consistent and/or adequate adult companionship or guidance Is average or below average on academics Have given little or no thought to education/career path Very impressionable, open to assistance	Assistance mentoring: Same as above	Caring and committed Willingness to work on typical adolescent issues Patient and willing to get involved in the young person’s life Culturally sensitive and willing to come to where the youth functions, both physically and mentally Much thought must be given to appropriate attitudes, activities and techniques	Same as above Matching: Same culture and gender matching may be more relevant and should be considered
TRANSFORMATIVE MENTORING
Intensive	Companionship Academic tutoring Education guidance Career/professional guidance Self-esteem building Perspective broadening Conflict resolution Responsibility Respect for others	No positive guidance or encouragement at home Not engaged in school Has given little to no thought to education or career May have occasional run-ins with school authorities or law enforcement Still impressionable but heavily influenced by negative surroundings and/or peer group	Transformative mentoring: Designed to affect change in negative self-esteem, attitudes and behaviours in youth who have been profoundly affected by societal risk factors. These youth would not be receptive to assistance mentoring. Offers youth an expression of profound empathy, sensitivity, compassion and love.	Extremely caring and committed Willingness to go beyond casual involvement in a young person’s life Patient and willing to play several roles (guide, support, resource, teacher, challenger) Willing to come to where the youth functions, both physically and mentally Much thought must be given to appropriate attitudes, activities and technique Culturally sophisticated and abreast of youth issues	Coordinator: Strong program development & management skills Exceptional knowledge in youth development and respect for others’ way of life Program capacity: Adequate resources Strong collaborative relationships with community partners Strong and relevant follow-up services in place for youth Matching: Same culture and gender matching should be strongly considered Mentors must have skills to assist in particular goal areas Mentors must be culturally/gender competent and very respectful of others’ challenges and way of life
Very Intensive	Companionship Academic tutoring Education guidance Career/professional guidance Self-esteem building Perspective broadening Conflict resolution Responsibility Respect for others Respect for self Cultural awareness and respect Respect for authority	Still reachable but hard to engage Little to no positive adult influence, guidance or support Attracted to the “easy way out” Very influenced by peers Has spent considerable time institutionalized	Same as above	Extremely caring and committed, may become a surrogate family member Always in touch and on call Patient and loving Willingness to come to where the youth functions, both physically and mentally Much thought must be given to appropriate attitudes, activities and techniques Culturally sophisticated and abreast of youth issues Willing to remain an advocate for the young person even when they continue to make mistakes	Same as above

Mentors can also utilize a growth mindset to facilitate intensive mentoring with mentees facing significant barriers by working with their mentees to overcome personal, academic, and social challenges in a positive way. One resource mentors can use to support mentees in overcoming personal, academic, and social challenges is called the Mindset Kit. This toolkit offers lessons, videos, and resources mentors can employ to provide a more transformative mentoring experience for their mentees.

^{Karcher, M. J., & Hansen, K. (2014). Mentoring activities and interactions. In D. L. DuBois & M. J. Karcher (Eds.), Handbook of Youth Mentoring (pp. 63-82). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, Inc.}
^{MENTOR. (2015). Elements of effective practice for mentoring, 4th ed. Retrieved from http://www.mentoring.org/new-site/wp content/uploads/2015/09/Final_Elements_Publication_Fourth.pdf}
^{The Mentoring Centre. (2000). Classification of mentoring relationship styles.Oakland: The Mentoring Centre.}

Contents [Show/Hide]

Types & Effectiveness of Mentoring for Youth Considered ‘High-Risk’

Toolkit on Effective Mentoring for Youth Facing Barriers to Success

Developmental and Instrumental Relationship Styles

Transformative Mentoring Style for Youth Considered ‘High-Risk’

Type of Mentoring

Mentoring Efforts & Activities

Youth Profiles

Mentoring Classification

Needed Mentor Characteristics

Mentor Program Considerations

ASSISTANCE MENTORING

Low Intensity

Moderate Intensity

TRANSFORMATIVE MENTORING

Intensive

Very Intensive

Contents [Show/Hide]

Toolkit on Effective Mentoring for Youth
Facing Barriers to Success